We all know the song. Many of us have sang it. Collins was my sunshine and could make any day brighter. Days like today; days that are cold, dreary, and rainy. Some moments it hits me harder than others that she is no longer here to smile one of her big smiles and make all my troubles just melt away. After work Tien and I met with 3 ladies that are instrumental in helping us redo the waiting area and parent room in Wesley's NICU. I pulled up to Wesley and it hit me. That punch in the gut, the feeling of dread. It was hard to breathe, knowing that I would once again have to enter this hospital without her and leave without her. I have made this drive many times over the past few months. None of them fun. Except the first one-BABY DAY, where I was blessed to meet her for the very first time. I entered the hospital and tried to recall the excitement and hope that I had on March 4th. I couldn't do it. Selfishly, I wanted her here with me. As we stood in the hallway discussing the art work that will greet parents and visitors as they enter, I realized that she is still here. Spreading her sunshine, not only to me, but to others who are facing some dark times. I was overcome with a sense of purpose and renewed fire to share her name and her story. To grow her legacy. She will always be my sunshine. Especially when skies are grey. And SHE inspires me to share the sunshine to lift others. If only for a moment.
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